Lesbian and Gay Proposal – 6 Tips for Planning the Perfect Moment

A proposal should be an incredibly joyful experience, and the next step in a relationship that is moving forward in a way that feels exciting, settled, and right.

I may be in the minority, but I don’t think that proposals have to follow any sort of “tradition” or norms, whether you identify as queer or straight. Double proposal? Heck yes! Shopping for rings together–do it!

And yet planning a proposal can be stressful no matter how you identify.

So below I’ve outlined some tips to help you figure out the right way to propose to your person.

1. Decide whether you want to plan an incognito approach or work your proposal into a photo session

There are two basic ways to plan a proposal. I can either be completely incognito or we can plan a hired photo shoot that includes a proposal as part of it.

Here are some pros and cons of each:

Incognito surprise proposal:

Pros:
Depending on how good you are at keeping secrets, taking an incognito approach could help you keep the secret up until the last minute.

Check out Emily and Anna’s full Estes Park Proposal

You can plan an activity or location that fits into a schedule you already have planned, helping to keep your partner off the scent

Cons:
An incognito approach does require a very specific plan to make sure that you line up with where I am (and turn the right way!)

Depending on the location, you might have to navigate crowds or other people being in the spot you want. This might require delaying to get to the spot, or some fast thinking on your feet and nuanced communication with me to make sure we’re all ready to go

If cell phone service is bad or parking is an issue or you hit traffic, it can be a challenge to make sure that everything is lining up.

Proposal built into a photos session

Pros:
I have complete control to guide you into the right spot and set things up so I have the best light, view, and vantage to capture the proposal

I can shoot the actual proposal a little closer because you know I’m there

Communication and timing issues aren’t as big of a a problem because we’re together the whole time.

We get to know each other a bit as we’re shooting, so hopefully you feel a bit more relaxed at proposal time

Cons:
Some partners have spidey senses that go off as soon as you suggest a photo shoot. Especially if it’s something you don’t do regularly together, or something that you weren’t planing to do together already

You might need a cover story for why you’re doing the shoot.

See Diana and Melissa’s full Alberta Falls proposal

2. Pick a location that feels inspiring and checks all the boxes that you want captured in your photos

There are so many options when it comes to planning the perfect proposal and I’ve witnessed everything from a sunrise hike to an overnight camping trip. Whatever you choose to do, make it meaningful to you and something that would feel special to your relationship.

If you’re torn between ideas I can definitely help you nail down the perfect idea, from talking through crowd and timing logistics, to helping you think about any extras you might want to include.

One thing that is often important to couples planning a gay and lesbian proposal, is whether there will be a lot of onlookers on their special moment. Unfortunately, many queer couples don’t feel comfortable having others witness their physical affection or their outward displays of love for each other. I want to assure you that if that is something you are concerned about, that we can work together to create an option that is going to feel the most comfortable to you.

Within whatever location you choose, I will create a detailed plan of timing and specific location to help make sure we both execute the vision flawlessly. This can look like emails and maps and photos to help communicate the plan in a straightforward simple way.

3. Decide if you want to use any props

Some couples like the idea of a surprise in the middle of a common activity. Others like the idea of really creating a “moment’ for the proposal. If you’re considering props, or using a planner, it’s possible that your partner will know what’s happening right away. However, that’s not a reason to avoid it!

If it feels fun and unique and right for you, go for it!

Some ideas for props:

Fancy picnic
Champagne
Candles

4. Think about your outfits

If you’re planning an incognito proposal it can be hard to figure out what to wear. And if only one of you knows that you’ll be doing photos during the proposal, it can be hard to make sure you’re both going to be happy in the outfits.

Sometimes the outfit consideration is a reason that you might consider fitting a proposal into a photo shoot.

You could also consider scheduling two shoots–one for you proposal and one at a later date that is a more full engagement session.

5. Think about the season you want to propose

You’ll also want to consider the season. Doing a proposal in the winter might mean extra layers that you have to take on and off, potential wind or snow, or cold temps to deal with.

Doing a proposal in the summer might mean more crowds.

There are so many amazing spots in Colorado that can be utilized in any season, but lets chat to make sure that we’re picking the best option for what you want, as well as considering all the variables in the season you’re planning for.

6. Consider hiring an LGBTQ+ photographer for your queer proposal

You might have noticed that most of these tips above could apply to anyone proposing to their partner(s), queer or not. But for queer couples, I think there is one strong benefit to hiring an LGBTQ+ photographer to photograph your proposal: you have some automatic assurances built in that you won’t be judged, pushed into a heteronormative pose, or forced to do anything that feels unauthentic to your individual relationship.

I pride myself on creating a loving, accepting and celebratory space for all couples I photograph, but working with folks for their gay and lesbian proposal holds a special place in my heart. I’m honored when people trust me implicitly because I’m also part of their community. I’m here to make your proposal feel as joyful and fun as possible, and taking the guesswork out of whether your photographer is going to judge you in any way can help you fully enjoy the moment together.

Other resources and advice for planning your queer proposal

Rings

One of the coolest things about proposals these days is that a standard engagement ring for one person is not a necessity. Instead, you can choose to each have a ring, create something together, or repurpose a family heirloom for one or both of you.

Here are a couple of LGBTQ+ friendly or queer owned jewelry businesses that can help you find the right rings for the two of you.

Luxe Forge – Making jewelry in Denver since 2013, this queer owned business can create custom rings, necklaces, earrings, or any other memorable piece of jewelry you’d like to propose with.

Sarah O Jewelry – A second generation jeweler, Sarah has been making custom rings since college. Women, Latina, and locally owned she specializes in unique and custom pieces centered around carefully selected gemstones.

Props

Here are some custom picnic businesses that can help you create a fun and intimate surprise for a proposal

Co Luxe Picnics – From amazingly yummy food, cute tables and pillows, and even a tipi, Co Luxe Picnics is available to help you plan a special surprise.

Mod Picnic Co – Luxury picnics in northern Colorado

Planning a proposal in Colorado, but coming from another state?

Colorado is a destination location for many reasons, not the least of which is the endless variety of natural landscapes to choose from.

One other reason many people choose Colorado for their queer proposal or wedding, is that Colorado is a very LGBTQ+ accepting state in a sea of other red states. In 2024 Colorado eliminated a law that defined marriage as between one man and one woman, and the same year they passed abortion protections for Coloradans.

Aside from their political leanings, though, there are a couple of other things to be aware of when planning a proposal in Colorado from another state.

Altitude

If you’re coming from a lower altitude state (think Nebraska or Oklahoma), the jump from closer to sea level to higher above sea level can have physical affects. Definitely check out my blog post on tips for getting married at altitude (they apply to proposals too!).

Seasons

Seasons differ in different parts of the country, but because of the altitude differences even within Colorado, you can expect different timelines for the changing seasons in different parts of the state.

For example, if you’re looking for wildflowers in Colorado, you’d be considering late June in the Boulder area, and mid-July in most mountain towns.

If you’re wanting high altitude sweeping mountains views you’ll have to wait for the passes to be clear of snow, which often doesn’t happen until late June. On the reverse side, many mountain passes have snow by mid-October, so your window of those perfect mountain views is smaller than you might think.

Want more tips? Check out my article on choosing a season for a session in Colorado.

Looking for a queer proposal photographer in Colorado?

Proposals range from $800 – $1200, depending on the plan and the location.

Proposal packages include

• Planning and logistic help (with as many emails or texts as needed!)
• Up to an hour of “engagement” photos immediately following your proposal, or as a part of your scheduled photo shoot where the proposal will happen
• A gallery of edited photos

Contact me to get started planning your dream proposal!